I guess this is normal - reality usually can't truly sink in until after the infatuation starts to wear off. All of a sudden, I am overwhelmed with the flaws I find around me, the glaring differences, the cultural inconsistencies. Whereas before, I could have sworn everyone I met on the street was smiling at me, now it seems like people bump into me and glare at me. Nothing tastes good to me, meeting new people feels overwhelming, the elevator in my building always smells like fish. Things that didn't seem like a big deal when I first came are starting to bug me and all I can think about is HOME.
I'm not trying to complain, I'm trying to be honest. Being here is great, but the anxieties of acclimating to a foreign country are starting to hit me and I know that's part of this experience and needs to be acknowledged. So I'm acknowledging it:
All is not perfect - it's not all butterflies and roses in South Korea!
Supposedly, there are three phases of culture shock:
1. Power through - I'm not going to let the fact that I am feeling depressed and homesick keep me from trying new things, and meeting new people. I am going to continue to "get out there" even when all I want to do is curl up in a ball on my bed and dream of being near the people I love.
2. Accept the fact that I miss home and that it's OK to need to indulge that feeling on a regular, though not obsessive, basis by calling, e-mailing, cooking something familiar, etc.
Which brings me to the white wine chicken I ate last night. Having got my hands on an overpriced bottle of white cooking wine and some overpriced chicken broth and sour cream, I concocted some sort of creamy wine sauce, and sauteed some onions and chicken tenderloins in it. It did NOT taste like Korea and I loved it.
And you know what? I woke up this morning craving Bibimbap. (If you don't know what that is, go back and read some earlier posts). So I think the moral is to maintain a balance, not force myself to assimilate to every aspect of the culture at once, but also to push forward and maintain a good attitude even when things seem frustrating or depressing.
So since I was feeling this way, I decided to look into culture shock.
Culture shock is defined by Wikipedia, as a term used to describe the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within an entirely different cultural or social environment, such as a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating to the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. Often this is combined with strong disgust about certain aspects of the new or different culture.
A report on culture shock at the University of San Diego said this:
"We can describe culture shock as the physical and emotional discomfort one suffers when coming to live in another country or a place different from the place of origin. Often, the way that we lived before is not accepted as or considered as normal in the new place. Everything is different, for example, not speaking the language, not knowing how to use banking machines, not knowing how to use the telephone and so forth."http://edweb.sdsu.edu/people/CGuanipa/cultshok.htm"
Culture shock is defined by Wikipedia, as a term used to describe the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within an entirely different cultural or social environment, such as a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating to the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. Often this is combined with strong disgust about certain aspects of the new or different culture.
A report on culture shock at the University of San Diego said this:
"We can describe culture shock as the physical and emotional discomfort one suffers when coming to live in another country or a place different from the place of origin. Often, the way that we lived before is not accepted as or considered as normal in the new place. Everything is different, for example, not speaking the language, not knowing how to use banking machines, not knowing how to use the telephone and so forth."http://edweb.sdsu.edu/people/CGuanipa/cultshok.htm"
Supposedly, there are three phases of culture shock:
- The "Honeymoon Phase" - During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on.
- The "Negotiation" phase - After a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, there may be feelings of discontent, impatience, anger, and sadness. This happens when a person is trying to adapt to a new culture that is very different from their culture of origin. Transition between the old methods and those of the new country is a difficult process and takes time to complete. During the transition, there can be strong feelings of dissatisfaction. One may long for food the way it is prepared "back home," may find the pace of life too fast or slow, may find the people's habits annoying, etc.
- The "Everything is OK" phase - Again, after a few weeks or months, one grows accustomed to the new culture's differences and develops routines. At this point, an individual no longer reacts to the new culture positively or negatively, because it no longer feels like a new culture. An individual becomes concerned with basic living again, as they were in their original culture.
1. Power through - I'm not going to let the fact that I am feeling depressed and homesick keep me from trying new things, and meeting new people. I am going to continue to "get out there" even when all I want to do is curl up in a ball on my bed and dream of being near the people I love.
2. Accept the fact that I miss home and that it's OK to need to indulge that feeling on a regular, though not obsessive, basis by calling, e-mailing, cooking something familiar, etc.
Which brings me to the white wine chicken I ate last night. Having got my hands on an overpriced bottle of white cooking wine and some overpriced chicken broth and sour cream, I concocted some sort of creamy wine sauce, and sauteed some onions and chicken tenderloins in it. It did NOT taste like Korea and I loved it.
And you know what? I woke up this morning craving Bibimbap. (If you don't know what that is, go back and read some earlier posts). So I think the moral is to maintain a balance, not force myself to assimilate to every aspect of the culture at once, but also to push forward and maintain a good attitude even when things seem frustrating or depressing.
2 comments:
do you have any korean friends? getting to know this country's people on a personal level can help you assimilate and avoid ethnocentrism.
if you ever need a white face to talk to, just let me know.
Hey Kayla,
Those phases are absolutely true, and sometimes they repeat themselves. I went through re-negotation this summer after I thought I had worked everything through already, but what I discovered on the other side having now lived in another culture for over a year uninterrupted is at some point you fall in love. When I think about leaving here even to go home, I feel a little knot in my stomach. See, your home country is a little like your family -- you love them because they are yours. Your adopted nation is like your boyfriend or husband -- you fall in love, learn to love. It is a very special and unique relationship. I will be praying for you, epsecially right now. I know that horrible, empty aching longing for home, but remember. You are not alone. The God of home came with you.
In His live,
Becky
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