Boys and Girls

The sociologist in me needs to express some observations. I am going to try not to generalize but the nature of sociological observation makes this incredibly difficult. Also, I tried to be neutral - these are just my observations.

First of all, there seem to be a lot more Western guys here teaching than girls. Second, The Western guys, in general, seem to come to Korea for 2 reasons. I'll come back to those reasons in a moment. First, you need to understand that the reason teaching here is so popular for foreigners is the fact that, not only do you get paid an excellent salary, your housing is paid for by your employer. So the only things a teacher pays for here are utilities and food. Considering that food and utilities here are incredibly cheap and taxes are shockingly low, teachers can pocket most of the money they earn each month. Perhaps unsurprisingly, most foreign teachers use this extra income for alcohol and/or cigarettes which cost about half of what they do in Western nations

Western teachers in Korea have, unfortunately, a reputation for drinking a lot and misbehaving. As I said before, young people come here to party because they get paid a lot of money and the liquor is cheap and easy to get (i.e. in every convenience store). Westerners also have a reputation for being obnoxious. I have seen several groups of Westerners in Seoul acting very disrespectful and idiotic (loudly making fun of Koreans and Korean culture, etc.). It seems like the mentality is "This isn't my country, I don't know anyone here and I'm just passing through so I'll behave however I want." It's as though the anonymity and the language barrier eliminate the usual, social consequences for bad behavior. This bothers me for various reasons, not the least of which is that here, as a foreigner, people see you as representing the country from which you came. In your home country no one pays too much attention to you because you fit in. But here, where you stand out, people are always watching you. Furthermore, they identify you with your nation of origin. Not that people should judge a nation based on a few people, but it must be hard not to imagine that all Americans are loud, abrasive drunks when the only ones you've ever seen in person have been just that. This strikes me as being similar to how a child behaves reflects on their parents. In addition, the American soldiers stationed here have a particularly terrible reputation for drinking too much and causing problems (like swearing a lot and getting into fights).

Just to clarify, I am not saying Americans are evil and Koreans are wonderful. Korean culture certainly has its own share of social problems as all nations do.

Anyway, back to why a lot of Western guys come here. Two reasons... The first is to drink which we have already discussed. The second is to get a Korean girlfriend. This is not an exaggeration. One of the things I immediately noticed here is how many of the white, male teachers have Korean girlfriends. Now, I have NO PROBLEM AT ALL with Western guys dating Korean girls or vice versa. However, there is an interesting mentality that guys seem to have about Korean women vs Western women. I've mentioned this to both Korean and American friends here and they were well aware of this phenomenon. Apparently, many Western guys think of Korean girls as both "exotic" and "submissive".

The exotic is easy to understand. Korean girls are different and they are, certainly, gorgeous. Thanks to their rice-centered diets and lack of exposure to the majority of Western foods, Korean women are almost all slim. They also seem to be more stylish and in vogue than American women are overall. Note how I said overall - there are, of course, plenty of exceptions. The part that was really interesting to me was how Western guys see Korean girls as being more traditional and submissive in terms of gender roles. One Korean friend I was talking to said he thinks that American guys, for example, are tired of how effeminate American girls have become and they find it refreshing that Korean girls dress and behave much more feminine. Furthermore, he said American guys like the fact that most Korean girls are not "man-haters" the way many Western girls seem to be. Now, granted, Korean culture is rapidly catching up with the gender-neutral ideals of Western society, but it is still largely traditional and conservative in many ways. There is an idea that Korean women "take care" of their men happily and are not as interested, in general, in independence. This is no secret either, as many Western guys will freely admit that one of their goals in coming to Korea is to find a Korean girlfriend.

Here's what I think: I have NO ISSUE with interracial relationships AT ALL. However, I find it a bit strange that Western guys want to date Korean girls simply because they are Korean. That is, they come here already with the mindset that they want to find a Korean girlfriend.

It gets even more interesting. Because while you see Western guys coupled with Korean girls ALL OVER the place, you virtually NEVER see a Korean guy dating a Western girl. Let's put it this way: I have been here nearly a month and I have lost count of the number of couples I have seen where the guy is foreign and the girl is Korean. In contrast, I have not even seen ONE couple where it is the other way around. So it seems that in Korea both Western guys and Korean guys prefer Korean girls.

Moving on (almost done ranting, I promise)...

I don't know how to say this without it coming across the wrong way, but to put it plainly, Korean guys don't hit on me at all here. Now, don't get me wrong: I dont WANT them to hit on me. But as an American girl who is used to the body-ogling, cat-calling, and low-whistling of so many guys in the States, it is so (refreshingly!) strange that men have not acted that way here. Now, is this because Korean guys are, on the whole, more polite and gentlemanly than Western guys? Maybe. Or perhaps it's because Western girls have an international reputation for being man-hating, femi-nazis? I don't know...

What do you think?