Here is another student-written story, as promised. Read the other ones I posted here. By the way, this next story was written by a boy (not that you need me to tell you that, trust me) and the spelling and grammar are not quite as good as the others but the story is riveting, if you ask me. I'm leaving it unedited for your increased enjoyment.
Jungle Adventure
by Se-Hyuk
by Se-Hyuk
This story's characters are: Kanko, Jugia, and Kock. They look like straight, short, blue hair and they are friendly and brave. They go to a jungle and see a rattlesnack. They fight the rattlesnack but Kock was bite from the rattlesnack so Kock couldn't go on. They slept and they went on and they found gold. Suddenly the killers attacked. So they ran away and hid in a cave. They fought the killers and they one. But the killers shot with a gun and killed Kock. So he died. So they were so sad.
They went home. They wrote a diary and they became famous people. And again they went on a trip for the sea and they ride a boat and they see dolphins. They draw pictures of dolphins. But they are far from theys house and they see shark. The sharks attack the boat and they are very surprised. Kanko shot the sharks so the sharks were angry. Kanko and Jugia go to an island and sleep in a tent. They 8:00 get up and wash face. They walk around the island. They didn't see any peoples. So they were very afraid.
This night strange peoples come to the island so Kanko and Jugia hid behind a rock. Tomorrow they fight the strange peoples and they won. They go to their house. But their parents is died so they are so sad again.
Things I loved:
-the spelling of rattlesnake as "rattlesnack"
-the spelling of won as "one"
-the way he writes, "They look like short blue hair" instead of "They have short blue hair" in response to me telling him to write what his characters "look like".
- How he tried to make people plural. "They didn't see any peoples"
-making the possessive of they into "they's"
-how he tells us they got up and washed their faces in the middle of all the descriptions of shark attacks and bloody battles "They 8:00 get up and wash face."
I especially love this story because you can tell this boy just got caught up in his imagination and the story which is exactly what I wanted. Many of my students have a hard time writing creatively in English because they feel like they just can't say what they want to with their limited grammar and vocabulary. I love that this student just went with his story and wasn't hampered by the language barrier. I love the creativity!
I also love how downright "boy'" this story is. Read my girl student's post entitled The Love Story in addition to this one and you'll have an excellent lesson in gender studies. In the girl's story there is a perfect ending where the hero and heroine get married and have a baby and live happily ever after. In the story above, even after defeating the rattlesnack (c'mon do I really have to make him change the spelling?) almost everyone in the story still ends up dead after a fight.
Love it Love it Love it!
They went home. They wrote a diary and they became famous people. And again they went on a trip for the sea and they ride a boat and they see dolphins. They draw pictures of dolphins. But they are far from theys house and they see shark. The sharks attack the boat and they are very surprised. Kanko shot the sharks so the sharks were angry. Kanko and Jugia go to an island and sleep in a tent. They 8:00 get up and wash face. They walk around the island. They didn't see any peoples. So they were very afraid.
This night strange peoples come to the island so Kanko and Jugia hid behind a rock. Tomorrow they fight the strange peoples and they won. They go to their house. But their parents is died so they are so sad again.
The End
Things I loved:
-the spelling of rattlesnake as "rattlesnack"
-the spelling of won as "one"
-the way he writes, "They look like short blue hair" instead of "They have short blue hair" in response to me telling him to write what his characters "look like".
- How he tried to make people plural. "They didn't see any peoples"
-making the possessive of they into "they's"
-how he tells us they got up and washed their faces in the middle of all the descriptions of shark attacks and bloody battles "They 8:00 get up and wash face."
I especially love this story because you can tell this boy just got caught up in his imagination and the story which is exactly what I wanted. Many of my students have a hard time writing creatively in English because they feel like they just can't say what they want to with their limited grammar and vocabulary. I love that this student just went with his story and wasn't hampered by the language barrier. I love the creativity!
I also love how downright "boy'" this story is. Read my girl student's post entitled The Love Story in addition to this one and you'll have an excellent lesson in gender studies. In the girl's story there is a perfect ending where the hero and heroine get married and have a baby and live happily ever after. In the story above, even after defeating the rattlesnack (c'mon do I really have to make him change the spelling?) almost everyone in the story still ends up dead after a fight.
Love it Love it Love it!
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